I've never been one to make my blog about personal things. But recently I've seen several articles and Pinterest posts about depression. Some are accurate in their facts, some not so much. I've suffered from clinical depression for 30 years. Most of that time I have functioned very well and life goes on. There have been very dark times when it almost wasn't worth living (distorted thinking). I was fortunate that I had an excellent psychiatrist who was really into the pharmacy end of treating depression. The first ten years or so I was on a drug that killed the terrible anxiety attacks but I almost have no recall of what happened then because I felt so "drugged." My gynecologist suggested I go on a different drug and I discussed it with my other doctor and he agreed. That is one thing you must remember in a medical situation. You must be proactive where your health is concerned. After all, you are in charge of your own body. It may take awhile for you to get that way. Over the years I have had ups and down and tried almost every drug on the market. Finally for the last ten or twelve years I have found a combination of drugs that gives me great moods, good sleep (which has been a chronic problem), good energy and a better disposition.
You must remember that depression is like any other illness such as diabetes, lupus, or arthritis. It is not a character failing or your fault. It is a disease, a treatable disease. The biggest thing with depression is distorted thinking, the kind that says you should commit suicide because nothing else will help. The kind that keeps you from getting help in the first place because you are SURE nothing can be done to help you. The kind that keeps you from being the best that you can be, stay close to your family and friends and the kind that says the world is coming to an end in the middle of an anxiety attack.
Please if you suffer, get help. If you don't know where to start, contact your local hospital and they should be able to hook you up with a psychiatrist. Don't depend on your primary care physician to treat this. Some are excellent at doing that but most just don't have the grasp on the medication aspects or time for talk therapy. Most insurance plans cover some or all of the fees associated with seeing a specialist. Some of us will suffer with this for the rest of our lives. But I am living proof that a better life is achievable.